Happy Mother’s Day!
I love my quiet time in the morning. Well, quiet is a matter of perspective – I always have two large dogs sharing my morning time with me. Sitting and watching me with their large expectant eyes, following on my heels as I move through the rooms, always nudging me with their muzzles. But even this morning on Mother’s Day, I like being up early and enjoying my quiet. I told my husband and daughter to sleep in – please. I really don’t want breakfast in bed – I want my quiet time to write and blog. They quickly agreed to my request and said, “OK,” they will sleep in 🙂
Our home feels like an everlasting elastic balloon – some days full of bodies and bursting with energy; loud voices, laughter, yelling, dogs running, stomping of steps up and down the stairs, television blaring, music playing; and then other days the house is nearly empty, the quiet permeates, and the house rests and rejuvenates ready for the next invasion of children. Such is the life of a step-parent where children come and go on a routine weekly basis and the parent of adult children. The comings and goings are constant.
Now with the school year ending our two college-aged daughters will be back in the home for the summer and another one is home for a month between jobs. The oldest is living and working in Sacramento – a bit closer to home, but with an intense work schedule he is busy building his career. My favorite days are when I can have all six kids sitting round the dinner table. I am hoping that one night this month we can make that happen.
I am blessed. Blending families is no small order. Parenting and step-parenting are tricky. There are lines. There are roles. There is sharing. There is a lot of give, a lot of deep breaths, a lot of hugs. Parenting and step-parenting are different roles. Finding the balance is key to making it all work. I love seeing how our six children have meshed so well. They are each other’s supports, friends, and siblings. They all have something in common – they are all the children of divorced parents and they get each other and what it takes on their side to balance two homes and four parents. They also genuinely like each other. On their own they stay connected to each other – that is one of the benefits of technology. They chat, text, send pics, and talk to each other regularly.
Somehow it has all worked. While many young girls grow up wanting and looking forward to one day being a mom. No young girl plans on growing up to be a step-mom. It was never part of my life’s vision. But yet, here I am. And I am all the luckier!
All the comings and goings, the hugs and tears, the roles of parenting and step-parenting, the laughter, the love, six kids, two dogs, one cat, ex-spouses and their partners – it all connects. There are many, many threads that taken together create the warp and woof of our family’s fabric. Our family woven together, meant to be together. Stitched together with love.
Yes, I am blessed.